Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
