SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
