I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
