Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
