Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
