He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
