I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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