Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
