Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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