we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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