I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
