i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
