There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Mom said you looked used
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize