Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
