I got chris browned last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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