My brain says no but my pants say off.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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