I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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