I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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