That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
