There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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