she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
