he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
