Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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