I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
