So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
