If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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