yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
