ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
