Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it's like iHOP with fire
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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