He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize