We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
