I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
