I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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