She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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