U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
