And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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