Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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