I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize