I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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