Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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