This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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