So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
