I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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