I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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