My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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