I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
