I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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