My hand turned me down
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
