i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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