Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
