I am puke
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
