We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
