Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
