I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize