3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize