Small penises have feelings too.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Come see our sink grown plant.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
