I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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